Chan gives this really great visual of a child's love for their parent:
"Sometimes when I come home from work, my little girl greets me by running out to the driveway and jumping into my arms before I can even get out of the car. As you can imagine, arriving home had become one of my favorite moments of the day." p. 55
For the past two years, my husband had a job that required long hours away from his family. So, by the time he walked through the door at night, he was always greeted by cheering children. They would literally fight their way to him and then tackle him to the ground. On more than one occasion, he would say, "It's nice to be loved."
So... this leaves me to ponder the question of whether I've EVER had that type of exhuberant joy and love for God. The type of love you can't contain inside yourself. The answer... honestly... not that I can remember. In fact, spending time with Him is seen more as a chore than a joy. I used to blame this predicament on the fact that I have a jam-packed schedule and that fitting in a sizeable amount of "quality" time with God just wasn't feasible. But, let me tell you a secret... that was just a really lame excuse. You see, this past week, I had all the free time I could have ever wanted. My husband took the kids to his parents for the week, which meant I was home alone. Now...I had the BEST of intentions. I asked a friend to pick out a Book from the Bible for me to focus on for the week. I planned to spend at least an hour each day in meditation. Yep...GREAT INTENTIONS. But... after two days of Proverbs, I was done. I tried moving to Romans...no better. Last ditch effort...James...MY FAVORITE...nothin'! Blasphemous... I KNOW! But here's the thing: I think God allowed me to be restless and frustrated, because, you see, it would have been really easy for me to find respite in His Word last week, rejuvination, encouragment. But then reality would hit again when my family returned... thus "confirming" my FALSE conclusions, leaving me to ultimately blame them for my inability to find the time for God. I have responsibilities... mother, wife, cook, chauffeur, teacher, volunteer, housekeeper. In my mind, these responsibilities come first. They are tangible needs that require an immediate response...leaving, like always, my leftovers for God.
I want to be excited about God. I want that excitement to show. This past week, I realized that I can no longer use other people, other responsibilities, other things, as an excuse for my unwillingness to make God a priority...EVERYDAY. As hard as it is for me to admit... I lack discipline... this coming from a woman who gets up at 4:52 in the morning to go to the gym for an hour and a half...even when it's -5 degrees and snowing outside. I'm fully capable of discipline and prioritizing... I just haven't been willing to when it comes to God. I'm thinking that it's time for that to change!
Another Chan video. This is a good one...but it's also another "gut-check." Have fun!